Sunday Night Smackdown in Norco, Horsetown USA! Father's Day Dinner was at the brand-spankin' new Bob's Big Boy in town. Aaron's 22-year old sister (Amanda) wanted to order Mac & Cheese off the kids menu, and by the reaction of our waitress, the manager, and the
owner, you would have thought that we were trying to buy Moonshine for a 3rd grader on a Sunday in Alabama. The restaraunt was perfectly willing to let Amanda "see" the kids menu, but she was prohibited from ordering any items from it, per corporate policy. Dead. Serious.
Not wanting to eat the large adult portions, Amanda declined to order anything if she couldn't have a kids meal, at which point Aaron, Laura, Aaron's mother and father (Margaret and Daniel), and Amanda proceeded to make a scene that was surely heard five tables away in every direction for about 15 minutes.
Despite the fact that every restaraunt any of us has ever eaten at has gladly allowed us to dine from the children's menu, this franchise owner was sticking to corproate policy like a federal bureaucrat on steroids -- even if it cost them the $4 that we
would have spent on Mac & Cheese and who-knows-how-much money that we
wouldn't be spending there at any point in the future after this hainous incident. I guess Bob is withstanding the recession just fine! New customers? Who needs 'em?!
Daniel asked for the address and phone number of Bob's headquarters (even though Bob was just seen walking around visiting tables five minutes prior, pictured above). Daniel, who is proud to have haggled over $0.18 with Amanda's landlord in Arizona - and won (only outdone by Laura's father who once spent an hour on the phone with Sprint/Nextel over a
one penny discrepancy in his wireless bill), went in to action to demand justice for his hungry daughter - and rightfully so!
The owner then lectured us on the virtues of "honesty" and relentlessly recited that only kids 10 and under could order from the kids menu, which is written in corporate policy, and also in ancient Scripture. The penalty for serving Mac & Cheese to an adult would result in being "written up", which apparently is the equivalent of being cast into Dante's Ninth Circle of Hell. The ordeal ended with the owner refusing to serve Amanda, then coming back out to say that she would "buy" Mac & Cheese for her since she "didn't want the little baby to go hungry" because she has kids of her own, and "understands" - which resulted in us being charged for the Mac & Cheese anyway. To their credit, they didn't charge us for our drinks.
The manager pretended to be nice the rest of the evening, during which time Laura proceeded to lecture her on how unhealthy the restaurant's food is.
Amanda enjoyed her Mac & Cheese and all of us seemed quite satisfied with the quality of our food. Between the nutritional value of the meal and our customer service experience, we all left with higher blood pressure than we came in with.
Next time, maybe we'll try to substitute onion rings for french fries in a rematch!
Happy Father's Day!